Both are in their mid-to-late 60s, have owned their single-family homes for many years, and have reasonably well-paying jobs.
They are planning a wedding shower and have registered for gifts, including expensive kitchen equipment and utensils, china, glassware, lamps, and living room furnishings. Things newlyweds-to-be in their 20s or 30s might need to start out. Not middle-aged adults with three past marriages and two homes between them.
Yes, the inappropriateness has been discussed with them. When asked “why,” they say the things they have are older and, as they are starting out new together, they want things in their house to be new as well.
No matter that, by registering, they effectively ask others to pay to replace what they already have. My perspective is that this is a blatant case of “chutzpah,” Yiddish for “nerve” or “gall.”
They are, otherwise, nice caring people, but I feel they have gone off the rails asking others to re-equip and re-furnish their home. If invited over, I would be uncomfortable using their new dishware, glasses, etc.
My feelings tell me to cool our relationship. Am I being excessively critical of their plans?
– Give or Give It Up
Dear Give: I’m reminded of another Yiddish phrase a friend once told me which translates to “money can buy everything except common sense.”
It really does take a lot of nerve to ask friends and loved ones to replace all their perfectly fine belongings … but if their friends and loved ones will do it, there’s technically no harm. No one is being forced to buy a gift.
You certainly don’t have to buy them anything if you don’t want to. But I worry about letting this ruin your friendship. It’s not a crime to have chutzpah. So, maybe live and let live here.
See if you can think of this as something you wouldn’t do in their shoes but perhaps not an offense that makes them unworthy of being your friends.
Dear Eric: My husband and I are both in our second marriage. We have been married 18 years, and we each have grown children. Everyone gets along very well.
This past summer, his two sisters, daughter and two nieces wanted to include me in an “aunt and nieces” weekend up in the northern part of our state. They had already gotten a VRBO and asked if my husband and I could get our own lodging.
I was told by my husband’s sister that when all the aunties and nieces get together, they all bring a gift for each other and that I was included in this little gift exchange. I promptly went out and purchased five great gifts for everyone.
To my surprise, I was the only one who brought out their gift. I guess they exchanged gifts after my husband and I left. I was very hurt by their actions and totally felt left out.
One month later, my one sister died unexpectedly. To my hurt and dismay, I didn’t get a single note of condolence from my husband’s two kids or his family.
I have really pulled back on having anything to do with his family. I told my husband how hurt I am by their actions.
I was just wondering about your thoughts and suggestions on what I should do.
– Slighted By Family
Dear Slighted: It will probably help you to separate the gift exchange from the condolences, although it makes sense that both hurt you.
It’s possible that there was some kind of communication mix-up with the “aunts and nieces” weekend, for instance, and they didn’t expect you to participate in the gift exchange since you were staying with your husband at a separate property. This is all conjecture, of course, but looking at it separately may make both issues easier to address.
Because you all get along well, ask your husband’s sister, “Hey, what happened with that weekend?” Explain what you thought was going to happen and how what actually happened didn’t match up with your expectation. And then listen to her perspective.
This will take a little bit of vulnerability, but it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with having an expectation, and nothing wrong with being disappointed that that expectation wasn’t met. Telling friends and loved ones about these things, without accusation, helps them to know us better and to meet us where we are.
Similarly, consider asking your husband to address the lack of condolences with his family. This is a place where he and they can show up to support you.
People don’t always do the things we wish they would. That’s OK. But by communicating our needs and wants, we can avoid the kinds of resentments that can poison a relationship.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
]]>On Dec. 28, 2014, the U.S. war in Afghanistan came to a formal end after 13 years with a quiet flag-lowering ceremony in Kabul, marking the transition of fighting from U.S.-led combat troops to the country’s own security forces. More than 2,200 Americans had died in Afghanistan since the war began.
In 1895, the Lumiere brothers, Auguste and Louis, held the first public showing of their films in Paris.
In 1908, a major earthquake followed by a tsunami devastated the Italian cities of Messina and Reggio Calabria, killing at least 70,000 people.
In 1912, San Francisco’s Municipal Railway began operations with Mayor James Rolph Jr. at the controls of Streetcar No. 1 as 50,000 spectators looked on.
In 1945, Congress officially recognized the Pledge of Allegiance.
In 1972, Kim Il Sung, the premier of North Korea, was named the country’s president under a new constitution.
In 1973, the Endangered Species Act was signed by President Richard Nixon, a law designed to protect plants and animals from extinction.
In 1981, Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American “test-tube” baby, was born in Norfolk, Virginia.
In 1991, nine people died in a crush of people trying to get into a celebrity charity basketball game at City College in New York that was headlined by hip-hop stars.
In 2015, a grand jury in Cleveland declined to indict two white police officers in the killing of 12-year-old Tamir Rice, who was Black. He was shot while carrying what turned out to be a toy pellet gun.
In 2019, a truck bomb exploded at a a busy security checkpoint in Somalia’s capital of Mogadishu, killing at least 78 people, including many students.
He’s extremely negative, verbally abusive and estranged from many friends, which has harmed my relationships with friends and family. He drinks almost all day (I drink as well), calls me horrible names I won’t repeat and refuses to respect my sleep needs (I’m still working). He thinks he’s being “funny” when he acts this way.
Seth doesn’t hear well, so he talks softly, and this also leads to unnecessary arguments.
I love Seth, but I feel like he is destroying my spirit and who I am. I used to be an independent, capable person. Now I feel like I am always walking on eggshells.
I dread coming home from work some days. I just want to run away. Your thoughts?
— END OF MY ROPE IN IDAHO
DEAR ‘END’: Go online to Al-Anon, find a location near you and attend some of the meetings.
Then, if you are really at the end of your rope, draw the line with your disrespectful, alcoholic verbal abuser. Tell him loudly, when he’s a little more sober than usual, that you have had it and that if he doesn’t stop drinking, his marriage is over. Then save yourself and follow through.
DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I were best friends. We shared everything — dreams, laughs and struggles. I was convinced we’d grow old together. When he proposed, I said yes without hesitation.
We had plans to start a family, but he asked me to wait until we purchased a home. I waited five years, trusting that the dream we had built together was still alive.
In time, we bought our house, but when I asked about having children, something had shifted. He told me he no longer wanted kids. I was heartbroken. The life we had talked about for years suddenly dissolved.
Soon after, he invited his mother, sister, brother-in-law and their daughter to move in with us. I tried to be understanding, but I began feeling like a guest in my own home — like he loved me, but prioritized them.
Eventually, he told me he was moving out. He bought a condo and moved with his entire family, and I was left alone — emotionally and physically.
I have tried to convince myself that this was never really about the kids, but I can’t shake the guilt. Part of me keeps thinking if I had said no to children, would he have stayed?
Even now, years later, I still care for him and cannot seem to let go. I don’t know how to move forward when someone who was once my everything still occupies so much of my heart, even if he’s no longer in my life.
How do I let go of someone who let go of me so easily?
— DREAM DESTROYED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR ‘DREAM’: You feel guilty for having wanted children, after your husband led you on for years pretending that he did? You were grossly misled and then deserted.
If that reality hasn’t been enough to help you “let go,” then what you need is professional help from someone who is licensed to give it. You are clinging to the fantasy of this person, not the reality.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
]]>BART alerted riders on the social media platform X around 4 p.m. that the Red line was cancelled due to the delay. The Green and Blue lines were diverted to MacArthur Station. The delay was caused by earlier equipment problems on a train.
According to BART’s media line, around 5:27 p.m., the disabled train was taken out of service and the transit agency was working on restoring regular service to the Red, Green and Blue lines. Around 5:30 p.m., BART posted on X that Green and Blue line service was restored.
Around the same time, BART reported that trains were not stopping at 24th St. Mission due to police activity. Minutes later, service was restored to 24th St. and Mission.
]]>The agency posted around 1 p.m. that firefighters were setting up a rope system for a recovery mission on the beach south of Davenport in Santa Cruz County. They were able to bring the body up from the beach to the bluffs before clearing the scene.
The Santa Cruz County Sheriff’s Office said on Facebook that “due to the close proximity to the recent shark attack victim in Monterey County,” they will be working with the Monterey County Sheriff’s Office and the Pacific Grove Police Department on the recovery.
The action comes after a 55-year-old swimmer named Erica Fox disappeared on Sunday near Lovers Point in Pacific Grove, where sharks were reportedly seen in the area. KSBW reported that the body was a woman, but officials did not release any identifying information.
]]>Banatao is known for pioneering the technology that made personal computers possible, thus putting Silicon Valley on the map. He also co-founded three technology companies and started a nonprofit to help support Filipinos in STEM fields.
“Rising from humble beginnings in Cagayan, he went on to co-found transformative technology companies and played a pivotal role in advancing the global semiconductor and graphics industries,” said the National Federation of Filipino American Associations on LinkedIn in honor of Banatao’s passing. “Just as importantly, he invested deeply in people opening doors, mentoring founders and strengthening communities.”
According to a post on his website by his family, Banatao passed away peacefully on Christmas Day, surrounded by family and friends. His family said he “succumbed to complications from a neurological disorder that hit him late in his life.” He would have been 80 in May.
His family wrote, “We are mourning his loss, but take comfort from the time spent with him during this Christmas season, and that his fight with this disease is over.”
Banatao was born to a rice farmer and housekeeper in Iguig, Cagayan, according to ABS-CBN. According to his 2015 documentary, he didn’t have access to electricity growing up and was taught math using bamboo sticks. He said it was typical for his classmates to stop going to school after sixth grade to help their parents work in the fields, but his father told him to continue studying.
He developed a love for engineering and graduated with a degree in electric engineering from Mapua Institute of Technology, a private research university in Manila. He said in his documentary that there were no design jobs for engineers in the Philippines, so he moved to the U.S. and pursued a master’s degree in electrical engineering and computer science at Stanford University. He graduated in 1972.
Soon after college, Banatao worked as a design engineering at Boeing. ABS-CBN reported that he then went on to work for other technology companies, like National Semiconductor and Intersil. While at Commodore International, he designed the first single chip, 16-bit microprocessor-based calculator.
He is credited with developing the first 10-Mbit ethernet CMOS chip in 1981 while working at Seeq Technology. He also developed the first system logic chipset for IBM’s PC-XT and PC-AT and one of the first graphics accelerators for personal computers. These inventions allowed for faster computer performance, according to Inquirer.net. The Harvard Club of Southern California credited Banatao for bringing GPS technology to consumers.
“Dado is the man who invented a graphical chipset that took us from black screens with green writing to the dynamic displays we have today,” the club wrote for a description of a lecture he gave in 2017 for the Harvard Business School Association of Orange County.
Banatao founded the chipset company Mostron with a business partner in 1984. One year later, he also co-founded Chips and Technologies, a graphics adapter company that Intel later acquired for around $430 million.
The CEO of Intel, Lip-Bu Tan, expressed his grief at Banatao’s passing on LinkedIn, crediting his friend for challenging him when he became CEO of Cadence Design in 2009.
“I am forever grateful for your challenge and encouragement as I continue my life journey following your footstep as CEO of Cadence Design for 12 years and continuing as CEO intel,” Tan said in his post. “Dado, you are the best technology entrepreneur and legend from (the) Philippines.”
He then founded S3 Graphics in 1989, which led the local bus concept and developed Windows accelerator chips, becoming the third-most profitable technology company in 1993. In 2000, Banatao entered the world of venture capital by founding Tallwood Venture, a firm focused on investing in semiconductor technology, and served as managing partner.
While working at Tallwood in 2011, Banatao told Bloomberg News that he encouraged his companies to expand internationally, focusing particularly in China, due to greater government support and lower production costs.
“It used to be that we started companies here and we didn’t think about going offshore until we were substantially big,” Banatao said when he was 64 at his office in Palo Alto. “At the outset now, as we fund the company, we think about going outside right away.”
Dinakar Munagala, co-founder and CEO at Blaize, Inc., a computer hardware manufacturer in El Dorado Hills, wrote on LinkedIn that he was “deeply saddened” by Banatao’s death.
“Dado was instrumental in shaping Blaize during its formative years,” Munagala said. “His belief in our mission, steady counsel, and generous spirit left a lasting mark on all of us who had the privilege of learning from him.”
Banatao has received several awards and recognitions for his contributions, including the Pamana ng Filipino Award in 1997, Asian Leadership Award in 1993, and the Ramon V. Del Rosario Award in 2018, according to ABS-CBN. In 2003, the Asian American Activities Center at Stanford recognized Banatao in the university’s Multicultural Alumni Hall of Fame.
Inquirer.net also reported that an institute at the University of California bears his name: the Banatao Institute at the Center for Information Technology Research in the Interest of Society.
Banatao founded the Philippine Development Science and Technology Foundation, a nonprofit also known as PhilDev that provides scholarships, mentorship and training programs to young Filipinos in STEM fields. His family urged people to donate to PhilDev in Banatao’s memory.
“We (Filipinos) know hardship,” Banatao said in his documentary. “It’s time we learn success.”
Staff writer Kyle Martin contributed to this report.
]]>BANGKOK — Thailand and Cambodia signed a ceasefire agreement on Saturday to end weeks of fighting along their border over competing territorial claims.
The agreement took effect at noon (0500 GMT) and calls for a halt in military movements and airspace violation for military purposes.
Only Thailand has carried out airstrikes, hitting sites in Cambodia as recently as Saturday morning, according to the Cambodian Defense Ministry.
The deal also calls for Thailand, after the ceasefire has held for 72 hours, to repatriate 18 Cambodian soldiers it has held as prisoners since earlier fighting in July. Their release has been a major demand of the Cambodian side.
Within hours of the signing, Thailand’s Foreign Ministry protested to Cambodia that a Thai soldier sustained a permanent disability when he stepped on an anti-personnel land mine it charged had been laid by Cambodian forces.
The agreement was signed by the countries’ defense ministers, Cambodia’s Tea Seiha and Thailand’s Nattaphon Narkphanit, at a border checkpoint. It followed three-day lower-level talks by military officials.
It declares that the sides are committed to an earlier ceasefire that ended five days of fighting in July and follow-up agreements.
The original July ceasefire was brokered by Malaysia and pushed through by pressure from U.S. President Donald Trump, who threatened to withhold trade privileges unless Thailand and Cambodia agreed. It was formalized in more detail in October at a regional meeting in Malaysia that Trump attended.
Despite those deals, the countries carried on a bitter propaganda war and minor cross-border violence continued, escalating in early December to widespread heavy fighting.
On Saturday, U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio welcomed the ceasefire announcement and urged Cambodia and Thailand to fully honor it and the terms of the peace accord reached earlier in Malaysia.
U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres called the ceasefire “a positive step towards alleviating the suffering of civilians, ending current hostilities, and creating an environment conducive to achieving lasting peace,” his spokesman said..
The U.N. chief expressed appreciation to Malaysia, China and the United States for their efforts to peacefully resolve the conflict, U.N. spokesman Stephane Dujarric said. “The United Nations stands ready to support efforts aimed at sustaining peace and stability in the region.”
Thailand has lost 26 soldiers and one civilian as a direct result of the combat since Dec. 7, according to officials. Thailand has also reported 44 civilian deaths.
Cambodia hasn’t issued an official figure on military casualties, but says that 30 civilians have been killed and 90 injured. Hundreds of thousands of people have been evacuated on both sides of the border.
“Today’s ceasefire also paves the way for the displaced people who are living in the border areas to be able to return to their homes, work in the fields, and even allow their children to be able to return to schools and resume their studies,” Cambodia’s Defense Minister Tea Seiha told reporters after the signing.
Each side blamed the other for initiating the fighting and claimed to be acting in self-defense.
The agreement also calls on both sides to adhere to international agreements against deploying land mines, a major concern of Thailand.
Thai soldiers along the border have been wounded in at least 10 incidents this year by what Thailand says were newly planted Cambodian mines. Cambodia says the mines were left over from decades of civil war that ended in the late 1990s.
Following the latest injury on Saturday, Thailand’s Foreign Ministry noted that the new agreement “includes key provisions on joint humanitarian demining operations to ensure the safety of military personnel and civilians in the border areas as soon as possible.”
Another clause says the two sides “agree to refrain from disseminating false information or fake news.”
The agreement calls for a resumption of previous measures to demarcate the border. The sides also agreed to cooperate in suppressing transnational crimes. That’s primarily a reference to online scams perpetrated by organized crime that have bilked victims around the world of billions of dollars each year. Cambodia is a center for such criminal enterprises.
Malaysia’s Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim, who was instrumental in putting together the original ceasefire, said the new agreement “reflects a shared recognition that restraint is required, above all in the interest of civilians.”
Many clauses similar to those in Saturday’s agreement were included in October’s ceasefire document, and were open to various interpretations and generally honored only in part. These included provisions concerning land mines and the Cambodian prisoners.
The fragility of the new agreement was underlined by Thailand’s Defense Ministry spokesperson Surasant Kongsiri in a news briefing after Saturday’s signing. He said that the safe return of civilians to their homes would indicate the situation had stabilized enough to allow the repatriation of the captured Cambodian soldiers.
“However if the ceasefire does not materialize, this would indicate a lack of sincerity on the Cambodian side to create sure peace,” he said. “Therefore, the 72- hour ceasefire beginning today is not an act of trust nor unconditional acceptance but a time frame to tangibly prove whether Cambodia can truly cease the use of weapons, provocations and threats in the area.”
Sopheng Cheang reported from Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
]]>KYIV, Ukraine — Russia attacked Ukraine’s capital with ballistic missiles and drones on Saturday, killing at least one person and wounding 27, a day before talks between the leaders of Ukraine and the United States, authorities said.
Explosions boomed across Kyiv as the attack began in early morning and continued for hours.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy prepared to meet with U.S. President Donald Trump in Florida on Sunday for further talks on ending the nearly four-year war. Zelenskyy told reporters that he and Trump plan to discuss several matters including security guarantees and territorial issues in the Donetsk and Zaporizhzhia regions.
“This attack is Russia’s answer on our peace efforts. It really shows that (Russian President Vladimir) Putin doesn’t want peace,” Zelenskyy said after stopping in Canada to meet with Prime Minister Mark Carney in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Carney announced $1.8 billion worth of economic assistance to Ukraine that helps unlock financing from the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank for reconstruction and development.
“The barbarism that we saw overnight, the attack of Kyiv, shows just how important that we stand with Ukraine during this difficult time,” Carney said.
The Russian Defense Ministry said that it carried out a “massive strike” overnight, using “long-range precision-guided weapons from land, air and sea, including Kinzhal hypersonic aeroballistic missiles” and drones. It said it targeted energy infrastructure facilities used by Ukraine’s forces and military-industrial enterprises.
But several residential buildings were struck.
The ministry said the strike was in response to Ukraine’s attacks on “civilian objects” in Russia.
Earlier on Saturday, the ministry said air defenses shot down seven Ukrainian drones over the Russian regions of Krasnodar and Adygeya overnight. On Saturday afternoon, the ministry said 147 more drones were shot down over a number of Russian regions.
Moscow Mayor Sergei Sobyanin said air defenses intercepted more than 20 drones “flying towards” the Russian capital on Saturday. He didn’t report any damage or casualties. It wasn’t immediately clear whether those were included in the Defense Ministry’s count.
In what could be viewed as an effort to further ramp up pressure on Ukraine before the Zelenskyy-Trump talks, the Kremlin on Saturday night released a video of Putin in military fatigues receiving reports from top military officials in an unidentified military command post.
Russia’s General Staff chief, Gen. Valery Gerasimov, reported to Putin that the Russian troops have taken full control of Myrnohrad in the Donetsk region — Russia uses the old Soviet name of the city, Dimitrov — the city of Huliaipole in the Zaporizhzhia region, and a few other settlements.
Putin said that ”if Kyiv authorities are not willing to end the matter peacefully, we will achieve all the goals we have in the special military operation by military means.”
Ukraine’s General Staff rejected these claims as “not supported by facts.” It said that the situation in Huliaipole is “difficult, but the defensive operation in the city is ongoing.” In Myrnohrad, the situation remains “challenging.”
“The senior political leadership of the aggressor state has once again resorted to spreading false claims about significant ‘successes’ by the Russian army on the battlefield,” the General Staff said in an online statement.
Poland scrambled fighter jets and closed airports in Lublin and Rzeszow near the border with Ukraine for several hours during the Russian attacks, the country’s armed forces command said on social media. There was no violation of Polish airspace, it said.
Civil aviation authority Pansa later said the airports had resumed operations. It was unclear what caused the alert in Poland when the Russian attacks were focused on Kyiv, which is far from the border.
Russia targeted Ukraine with 519 drones and 40 missiles, Ukraine’s air force said. The main target was energy and civilian infrastructure in Kyiv, Zelenskyy said. In some districts of the region there is no electricity or heating because of the attacks, he said.
More than 10 residential buildings were damaged, Ukrainian Interior Minister Ihor Klymenko said on social media.
Olena Karpenko, 52, said she heard a man as he burned to death. “His scream is still in my ears. I can’t believe it,” she said, weeping.
Karpenko said they heard a explosion at the nearby thermal power plant, followed by a stronger blast that shook the windows of her home. Then came the strike on her building.
Two children were among those wounded in the attack, which hit seven locations across the capital, the head of the Kyiv Military Administration, Tymur Tkachenko, said on social media.
A body was found under the rubble of one damaged building, he said. It wasn’t immediately clear if that person was the man who burned to death.
A fire broke out in an 18-story residential building in the Dnipro district, and emergency crews rushed to contain the flames. A 24-story residential building in the Darnytsia district was also hit, Tkachenko said, and more fires broke out in the Obolonskyi and Holosiivsky districts.
In the wider Kyiv region, the strikes hit industrial and residential buildings, according to Ukraine’s Emergency Service. In the Vyshhorod area, emergency crews rescued one person found under the rubble of a destroyed house.
Ukraine’s largest private energy company, DTEK, said on X on Saturday evening that the Russian attack caused “extensive power outages” in Kyiv, saying that hundreds of thousands of customers remained without power.
Zelenskyy told reporters he would aim to ensure there were “ as few unresolved issues as possible ” in talks with Trump, while respecting Ukraine’s red lines.
Speaking by audio note in a Whatsapp chat with journalists, Zelenskyy said he would prioritize discussing security guarantees for Ukraine. He has said that in the draft peace plan, the U.S. has committed to providing guarantees that mirror the NATO alliance’s Article 5, which means an attack on Ukraine would trigger a collective military response from the U.S. and its allies.
But key details must be worked out in a bilateral agreement.
Territorial concessions are the most sensitive of issues the two leaders will discuss.
Dasha Litvinova in Tallinn, Estonia, Rob Gillies in Toronto and Volodymyr Yurchuk in Kyiv contributed to this report.
___
Follow the AP’s coverage of the war at https://apnews.com/hub/russia-ukraine
]]>SALT LAKE CITY — Jeffrey R. Holland, a high-ranking official in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who was next in line to become the faith’s president, has died. He was 85.
Holland died early Saturday morning from complications associated with kidney disease, the church announced on its website.
Holland, who died in Salt Lake City, led a governing body called the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, which helps set church policy while overseeing the many business interests of what is known widely as the Mormon church.
He was the longest-tenured member of the Quorum of the Twelve after President Dallin H. Oaks, making him next in line to lead the church under a long-established succession plan. Oaks, 93, became president of the church and its more than 17 million-strong global membership in October.
Henry B. Eyring, who is 92 and one of Oaks’ two top counselors, is now next in line for the presidency.
Holland had been hospitalized during the Christmas holiday for ongoing health complications, the church said. Experts on the faith pointed to his declining health in October when Oaks did not select Holland as a counselor.
His death leaves a vacancy in the Quorum of the Twelve that Oaks will fill in coming months, likely by calling a new apostle from a lower-tier leadership council. Apostles are all men in accordance with the church’s all-male priesthood.
Holland grew up in St. George, Utah, and worked for many years in education administration before his call to join the ranks of church leadership. He served as the ninth president of Brigham Young University, the Utah-based faith’s flagship school, from 1980 to 1989 and was a commissioner of the church’s global education system.
Under his leadership, the Provo university worked to improve interfaith relations and established a satellite campus in Jerusalem. The Anti-Defamation League later honored Holland with its “Torch of Liberty” award for helping foster greater understanding between Christian and Jewish communities.
Oaks, also a former BYU president, reflected Saturday on his more than 50 years of friendship and service with Holland, calling their relationship “long and loving.”
“Over the last three decades as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, he lifted the weary, encouraged the faithful and bore a powerful witness of the Savior — even through seasons of significant personal trials,” Oaks said.
Holland was known as a dynamic orator whose sermons combined scholarship with tenderness. In 2013 he spoke to church members about supporting loved ones with depression and other mental illnesses, sharing openly about times when he felt “like a broken vessel.”
Holland is widely remembered for a 2021 speech in which he called on church members to take up metaphorical muskets in defense of the faith’s teachings against same-sex marriage. The talk, known colloquially as “the musket fire speech,” became required reading for BYU freshmen in 2024, raising concern among LGBTQ+ students and advocates.
Holland was preceded in death by his wife, Patricia Terry Holland. He is survived by their three children, 13 grandchildren and several great-grandchildren.
Associated Press writer Jeff Martin in Atlanta contributed.
]]>YANGON, Myanmar (AP) — Voters went to the polls Sunday for the initial phase of Myanmar ’s first general election in five years, held under the supervision of its military government while a civil war rages throughout much of the country.
Final results will not be known until after two more rounds of voting are completed later in January. It is widely expected that Min Aung Hlaing, the general who has ruled the country with an iron hand since an army takeover in 2021, will then assume the presidency.
The military government has presented the vote as a return to electoral democracy, but its bid for legitimacy is marred by bans on formerly popular opposition parties and reports that soldiers have used threats to force voters to participate.
While more than 4,800 candidates from 57 parties are competing for seats in national and regional legislatures, only six are competing nationwide with the possibility to gain political clout in Parliament. The well-organized and funded Union Solidarity and Development Party, with its support from the military, is by far the strongest contender.
Voting is taking place in three phases, with Sunday’s first round being held in 102 of Myanmar’s 330 townships. The second phase will take place Jan. 11, and the third on Jan. 25. Final results are expected to be announced by February.
Critics charge that the election is designed to add a facade of legitimacy to military rule that began when the military ousted the elected government of Aung San Suu Kyi in February 2021. It blocked her National League for Democracy party from serving a second term despite winning a landslide victory in the 2020 election.
They argue that the results will lack legitimacy due to the exclusion of major parties and limits on freedom of speech and an atmosphere of repression.
The expected victory of the military-backed Union Solidarity and Development Party makes the nominal transition to civilian rule a chimera, say opponents of military rule and independent analysts.
“An election organized by a junta that continues to bomb civilians, jail political leaders, and criminalize all forms of dissent is not an election — it is a theater of the absurd performed at gunpoint,” Tom Andrews, the U.N.-appointed human rights expert for Myanmar, posted on X.
However, holding the election may provide an excuse for neighbors like China, India and Thailand to continue their support, claiming the election promotes stability. Western nations have maintained sanctions against Myanmar’s ruling generals due to their anti-democratic actions and the brutal war against their opponents.
Voters on Saturday expressed mixed feelings.
Khin Marlar, 51, who voted at a polling station in Yangon’s Kyauktada township, said she felt she needed to vote because she hoped that peace would follow afterward. She explained that she had fled her village in the town of Thaungta in the central Mandalay region due to the fighting.
“I am voting with the feeling that I will go back to my village when it is peaceful,” she told The Associated Press.
A resident of southern Mon state, who asked to be identified only by her first name, Khin, for fear of arrest by the military, told The Associated Press she felt compelled to go to a polling station because of pressure from local authorities.
“I have to go and vote even though I don’t want to, because soldiers showed up with guns to our village to pressure us yesterday,” Khin said. There were reports ahead of the voting from independent media and rights groups that officials and the military used such threats to compel people to vote.
Suu Kyi, Myanmar’s 80-year-old former leader, and her party are not participating in the polls. She is serving a 27-year prison term on charges widely viewed as spurious and politically motivated. Her party, the National League for Democracy, was dissolved in 2023 after refusing to register under new military rules.
Other parties also refused to register or declined to run under conditions they deem unfair, and opposition groups have called for a voter boycott.
Amael Vier, an analyst for the Asian Network for Free Elections, noted a lack of genuine choice, pointing out that 73% of voters in 2020 cast ballots for parties that no longer exist.
Mobilizing opposition is difficult under the military’s repression. According to the Assistance Association for Political Prisoners, more than 22,000 people are currently detained for political offenses, and over 7,600 civilians have been killed by security forces since they seized power in 2021.
Armed resistance arose after the army used lethal force to crush non-violent protests against its 2021 takeover. The ensuing civil war has left more than 3.6 million people displaced, according to the U.N.
A new Election Protection Law imposes harsh penalties and restrictions for virtually all public criticism of the polls.
In these circumstances, both the military and its opponents believe power is likely to remain with Senior Gen. Min Aung Hlaing, who led the 2021 seizure of power.
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Associated Press writer Peck reported from Bangkok.
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